​Monday morning driving to work is the worst 30 minutes of the week.  I am not only haunted by the onslaught of work challenges that I so happily ignored throughout the weekend but I also get hit heavily with guilt for all of the personal “to-do” tasks that I managed to put off over the weekend.  By the time my car is parked at the office I am already beyond stressed out.  There is no worse feeling (for an over-planner) than not achieving what you set out to do.

I’ve found that a great solution to this constant need for tasks to be completed is by daily planning.  Every night before bed I take a look at my personal to-do list and nab 2 that I want to accomplish the next day.  I set my alarm early enough to allocate enough time to get both of those tasks done.  This way, by the time I leave the house in the morning, once I get to work I have already accomplished something.  

This is similar to the army mentality of making your bed every morning.  The idea that you should start every day with a task that you have committed to completing.  The sense of accomplishment and ability will carry with you throughout the day.  If nothing else gets done, at least that was.

Sometimes my daily task will be going to the post office, which is never open prior to work.  In that scenario I take a look at my work schedule for the day and complete whatever was planned for mid-day, at home prior to work starting, so that mid-day I can drive to the post office.  It sometimes becomes a game of give and take.  

Don’t beat yourself up if you missed a to-do.  Just focus on one or two a day, make them the priority and slowly you will watch your list become less of a stress-causing-nightmare and more as a list of accomplishments.

Reality crashes down hard on you when you know that you are returning home from an around the world adventure- jobless and have become a thirty-something that will be living in your parents basement. The planner in me basks at the idea of another high paying corporate Project Management gig, so that I can max out my savings and can feel comfortable about future investments and expenditures.  But the person that I grew to love during my six month excursion, REALLY hates that idea.

So what's next?

More Passion.

One of the best things about seeing the world is meeting people with a vast variety of backgrounds, expertise, experiences, and passions.  I stayed with a poet, soldier, translator, pianist, restaurant owner, roofer, teacher, waiter, farmer, coach, journalist,....hippies, black guys, white guys, asians, middle easterners, brazilians, spanish, italians, norwegians, finnish, japanese....and there was ONE COMMON THREAD that stuck with me.

Passion.

Many people who rent out their homes via Air BnB are not the richest in the world.  But many are truly and deeply happy because they are following their passions in life.  

The best example of this was the couple in Japan who live a shoestring lifestyle.  The husband paints to live music on weekends and the wife starts each morning with yoga.  Every day they spend 12-14 hours out of the house pouring their heart and soul into the art school that they opened, where they do awesome things with kids (like put on native drumming music, cover the furniture in tarps and have the kids climb underneath creating 'cave drawings'). They were some of the happiest people I have ever met.  Each day their eyes were filled with excitement to inspire and share their love of movement, music, art, and self expression with a younger generation. 

​On the other end of the spectrum was a work-a-holic so focused on saving up that he put his passion for stand up comedy on hold.  The more we got to know him, the easier it was to spot his deep sadness day in and out as he trudged from job to job, doing things he hated, working with people he loathed.  But at night as he told us jokes or showed us video of his old stand-up comedy gigs, he lit up.  That is when his beautiful soul emerged.  

So here is whats next for me... things that light me up.  Things that fill my heart with happiness. Experiences, jobs, and endeavors that allow my passions to shine.  

I may not be as well off as I once could have been, but I will be happy, and that is how life should be lived. Happily.
Passion filled.
So that's my new goal for me.  Not to let this passion driven adventure end today.
Call me a hippie. Call me a dreamer.  I am calling it LIVING.

So whether it be telling jokes, doing a martial art, slaying motherhood, performing artist shows, writing plays, traveling the world, reading, gardening,....ensure you are making room for that which you are passionate about.   Maybe you can't afford to do this full time- but YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO NOT MAKE TIME FOR BEING TRUE TO YOU.  Make sure you are filling your heart with the things that make you shine and make sure you are sharing that love and glow with others.  Because if you aren't, then you are missing out on really living.  You are missing out on truly connecting with others. You are missing out on whats so magical about us as humans.  Our ability to light up.  To inspire one another.  Our ability to fill our souls with things that ignite greatness in us.

I return tomorrow, excited for all the wonderful places that my passions are leading me.   
I urge you to wake up tomorrow, with the exact same goal.    
​

Two weeks without a computer and limited access to paper.  My brain was literally breaking down in terms of needing to write.  I didn't realize how inherent writing was to my being, processing, and sense of self until I was fully locked away from it!

I can recall being in grade school and even then loving to journal.  However I never saw myself as a writer.  TJ was the writer in class.  He had a journal with him at all times - during down time he would create these fantastical worlds on paper. I remember thinking to myself- THAT IS A REAL WRITER.  THAT IS WHAT THEY DO.  HE HAS SOMETHING SPECIAL. A REAL WRITER has a magic senses of other worlds and a constant influx of ideas to shape.  I wasn't creative like that.  I didn't have that gift.  Because I couldn't associate myself with the definition that I had correlated with "writer", I wrote myself off!  I ignored my love for it & sense of calm from it, because I didn't fit the definition of what I had idealized a writer to be.

This is a harsh lesson that I have learned in many capacities of my life.

LESSON 1:  There is NO pure definition for ANYthing!
Do not let your preconception of what something is (or should be) discount yourself from doing it!  Do not let your ideas, definition, or projection of what should be, stop you.
⦁    With the Olympics just ending there are tons of "underdog" tales on all of our minds- the boy who beat his idol Phelps, the 42 year old gymnast, Sakshi Malik- the Indian female wrestler who won a medal, the non-placement of unstoppable Jordan Burroughs, Simone Manuel- the first black american women to swim away with a gold, .... All of these underdog stories remind me that someone believed in themselves despite the critics and pre-concieved ideas about who belonged and what an athlete in their sport is.
Be Inspired by this!
Do not be defined by the cookie cutter molds.  REDEFINE THE MOLD.  BE YOUR OWN.  Be better than the mold.  Be special. Stand out.  Break the barriers.

LESSON 2:  Just because you aren't naturally gifted or talented in the craft that you love, does NOT mean that you are not destined to excel in it.
Yes, some people are naturally bestowed with talents but the best in the world are the people who contain passion and accept a "growth" mentality.  This means acknowledging what you lack in skill but truly believing that with effort, dedication and hard work you will obtain those skills.  Do NOT quit on yourself.  Put in the work and the talent will come.

LESSON 3:  Be True To YOU
You can try to silence a skill, a love, a passion- but your heart will break and your livelihood will suffer.  If your day lights up by filling it with something that sings to your soul- give into it!  Allow yourself to be expressed fully and embrace the things in you that light up your heart!

So here I am, 20 years out of grade school, finally accepting that I am a writer.  It is in my soul.  TJ was gifted in so many fantastical was that I wasn't.  But I have a voice also!  I own that mine may not be a natural talent, as his was.  Mine is a truly different voice with an unimaginative, un-enchanted, but full valid, semi-inspiring voice.  It has taken me living with hippies for 2 weeks, filled with lots of downtime (and no internet) to contemplate life and realize what sparks my days.  It has taken this reprieve for me to embrace how huge writing has been in my entire life.  From childhood journaling, to epic note writing in high school, as an outlet for abusive relationships- it has always been an outlet and sanctuary for me.  I have lots of growth ahead of me to improve my writing, however I am really happy that my brain is finally listening to my heart about what makes it sing.

What activities perk you up?
What does your soul crave when it is void from your day-to-day?
What is holding you back from believing in your abilities?
Who are you at your core?

Take a listen....and give into it!

My husband and I have had three main goals for our judo adventure around the world: 

1. Learn as much as possible
2. Explore a lot
3. Do not get hurt

On Monday I was beyond excited to be training at a top university in Japan.  The class was everything that I had hoped it to be- filled with lots of talented women, focused on technique, personalized, and filled with lots of live fighting.  It was one of my favorite practices of the trip  thus far.  Until awkward positioning and a rough follow through ended in a bad fall and a crunching sound.  I knew immediately that I had broken our 3rd rule as shooting pain erupted through my body.  
Any athlete knows the agony of having an injury.  All you want to do is get back at your sport- the aching is a reminder of what you are unable to do.  It plagues your mind.  Its similar to when you are a committed employee and you get sick- that presentation, report, and lingering to-do list haunts you as you are stuck in bed to mend.  
As I was taken to the university doctor for evaluation all I could do was feel sorry for myself.  Thinking of the practices I will miss.  The opportunities for improvements lost.  The worry about how long this will put me out.   The self pity machine ran heavy as the doctor twisted, poked, and prodded to determine the source and magnitude of the injury.  As an athlete this sense of anger towards being injured is natural - it comes with a deep sense of sadness and helplessness because you are being held back from what you need to do.

But I am older for an athlete.
I am not stubborn and I refuse to run back to the gym prior to healing.
I know injuries and illness are a part of life.
And I am not someone who allows for much sulking.  

Here's my go to "how to survive an injury/illness" guide:

Being 6 weeks into this job-free, world-tour, judo-training venture I have had a ton of time to reflect.  Here are a few realizations that I have made thus far:

1. SET ASIDE YOU TIME DAILY.  As much as I respect going with the flow, I am a person that NEEDS some goals and structure to my days.  So even if its waking 2 hours earlier than others to commit myself to Me time- for goal setting, reflection, yoga, reading, and writing.  Without any time set aside during my day to specifically spend some time with myself- I just drag along, day in and out, falling into a lazy routine.   I feel like this is a huge lesson.  Its easy to fall into leisure.  Its hard to force yourself to make you time.  To feel good at the end of the day though, this commitment to self is necessary.
2. ALWAYS STRETCH YOURSELF.  I love to learn.  During down time I have taken an online course, started to learn french, read 2 books, have committed to 30 days of yoga, researched the places I visit, and am constantly learning at the dojo.  There is so much information out there and it is impossible to ever be an expert in everything - but if something interests you - ask questions and commit yourself to learning more about it.  You will feel refreshed and enlightened by your constant growth.
3. BE TRUE TO YOUR FUTURE SELF.   Its been strange not working. It's easy to fall into immediately looking for work and accepting whatever is available (aka continuing to do what you have done in the past).  Its kind of like getting over a bad breakup - so easy to fall back into where you were instead of looking for what will be best for you ultimately.  I want to fill my future with things I fully love and to do that I need to accept this time of ME.  I have been trying to embrace the freedom of not working- focusing heavily on what I care about, what makes me happy, and spending time learning more about myself - expecting this will lead me where I need to be next.  I think this advice is critical to anyone who feels stuck at work and knows in their heart that they need to make a change.  Not knowing what is next is OK...embrace the scary unknown and be true to yourself.  You will end up where you need to be. 

The key take-away: Take some time for YOU.  Make some time for YOU.
You matter.

I read a phenomenal (and super long) article about what makes a team great this weekend.   In case you don’t have 20 minutes to read it, here are the big take-aways that I had.

Data has proven that personalities of individuals, strength of members, and leadership do not always dictate what makes a team successful.  Good teams are distinguished from dysfunctional ones mainly because of how people treat one another!  On good teams:

• people truly listen to one another and show sensitivity towards feelings
• people spoke roughly the same amount of time
• people were inclusive.  This means noticing when others feel left out or down.
• allowed for an atmosphere where people left meetings feeling energized
• leaders were direct and straightforward
• the atmosphere allows for a sense of safety that allows people to share ideas without fear.  This allows the members to confidently speak without feeling they will be embarrassed or punished for their input!
• the best teams were skilled at noticing nonverbal cues.  By picking up on tones of voice and mannerisms they could better read how one-another felt.
• teams know how their work fits into the company’s larger mission

You may not run a team or business but these attributes can still be critical in your day-to-day.  Everyone works in teams in life.  Whether it be at a PTA meeting, in an office setting, on a sports field, in a classroom, or at a volunteer event...team building is an ever present part of human society.  The next time that you are part of a team that seems to be dysfunctional step up and force some of the above in your team.   Be the change that it needs.

You can do this by calling out people for cutting others off.  Make it apparent that behavior is unacceptable.  Curtail people who are speaking forever.   Ask what your team's role is in the larger picture. Take notice of others and call it out to the group.  Notice when the quiet person is being left out & specifically ask for their input.  Watch for when others look irritated or uncomfy and persuade them to share their thoughts. Question leaders who are not being clear.   Make the environment one where people feel comfortable and supportive.  If no one else is doing this, you should!  It will not only positively impact the group, it will make your meetings more productive and will enable you to feeling more energized after the encounters.

If you want to be a part of a healthy environment, it is your duty to help foster that environment.  Knowing what is required to make the best team is the first step.  The next step is taking action!








​Source Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.html?emc=eta1&_r=0