Monday morning driving to work is the worst 30 minutes of the week. I am not only haunted by the onslaught of work challenges that I so happily ignored throughout the weekend but I also get hit heavily with guilt for all of the personal “to-do” tasks that I managed to put off over the weekend. By the time my car is parked at the office I am already beyond stressed out. There is no worse feeling (for an over-planner) than not achieving what you set out to do. I’ve found that a great solution to this constant need for tasks to be completed is by daily planning. Every night before bed I take a look at my personal to-do list and nab 2 that I want to accomplish the next day. I set my alarm early enough to allocate enough time to get both of those tasks done. This way, by the time I leave the house in the morning, once I get to work I have already accomplished something. This is similar to the army mentality of making your bed every morning. The idea that you should start every day with a task that you have committed to completing. The sense of accomplishment and ability will carry with you throughout the day. If nothing else gets done, at least that was. Sometimes my daily task will be going to the post office, which is never open prior to work. In that scenario I take a look at my work schedule for the day and complete whatever was planned for mid-day, at home prior to work starting, so that mid-day I can drive to the post office. It sometimes becomes a game of give and take. Don’t beat yourself up if you missed a to-do. Just focus on one or two a day, make them the priority and slowly you will watch your list become less of a stress-causing-nightmare and more as a list of accomplishments.
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It seemed only suiting to awaken to a gray and dreary morning as emptiness and discouragement filled my soul this am. Donald Trump has won the presidency. My heart yearns for a leader who inspires the best out of people and unfortunately our next president does not uphold that trait. My heart saddened for our future generations who during this time of economic and climatic turmoil, we need leaders who encourage our love and support for one another, the environment, and our future. Many will disagree. This was proven via the polls last night. And congrats to them. But for me personally my disillusionment for this entire election cycle has been brought about due to the lack of any candidate that I truly and completely look up to. Neither filled that definition for me, but with Trump winning the hatred and disparity that he represents seems to be what is glaringly painful to accept. After hours of quiet, heartbreaking solitude I was finally led to something positive. I am done waiting for these leaders to break the cycle. To improve the broken systemic flaws that are impacting everyone daily. I have been feeling this way for sometime but this morning something that was holding me back, broke. I finally gained courage and felt empowered to do something. I emailed a list of people who run groups that I believe are impacting the world in a good way- I thanked them. I asked how I could help. I looked into some volunteer opportunities with non-profits that are at the ground floor making an impact. I took a serious look at the list of places I am applying for full time work and narrowed the list to things that my heart knows is for good. The Bernie Sanders movement showcased the strength and empowerment that can come from individuals taking a stand for things they believe in. Why should that stop during election cycles? Why do that only apply to getting someone in office? What if everyone took a few hours from their week and donated time, energy, their work, their resources, their signatures, or their voice to a cause that they felt would actually better the world from a grassroots perspective? What might happen if everyone who complains about the state of issues made baby steps towards remedying the issues we say we are so concerned about? For me personally this boils down to how can I aid the environment? How can I positively impact climate change? How can I do this on a community level, not just a personal household level? How can I support the education system nearby? How can I aid with the impoverished and homeless in my area? What can I do to support issues like Standing Rock? Where can I best impact NAACP and racial disparity issues? How can I help get healthy food in the hands of the poor? How can I aid with the lack of nutritional education that is so painstakingly missing and is leading to so much pain and disease in so many? Who can I correct when they say something hateful or bigoted - in hopes of improving our division as humans? I am done feeling like a lost sheep looking for a shepard. It is time to truly embrace what grassroots mean and start building the world I want to live in. Waiting for someone else to do it will continue to drain my naive and hopeful heart. So on this gloomy, leaderless, hope crushing day...I am trying to find a leader in myself. Maybe I can become what I so desperately want to see leading others. Maybe I can even inspire a few others to join in. Reality crashes down hard on you when you know that you are returning home from an around the world adventure- jobless and have become a thirty-something that will be living in your parents basement. The planner in me basks at the idea of another high paying corporate Project Management gig, so that I can max out my savings and can feel comfortable about future investments and expenditures. But the person that I grew to love during my six month excursion, REALLY hates that idea. So what's next? More Passion. One of the best things about seeing the world is meeting people with a vast variety of backgrounds, expertise, experiences, and passions. I stayed with a poet, soldier, translator, pianist, restaurant owner, roofer, teacher, waiter, farmer, coach, journalist,....hippies, black guys, white guys, asians, middle easterners, brazilians, spanish, italians, norwegians, finnish, japanese....and there was ONE COMMON THREAD that stuck with me. Passion. Many people who rent out their homes via Air BnB are not the richest in the world. But many are truly and deeply happy because they are following their passions in life. The best example of this was the couple in Japan who live a shoestring lifestyle. The husband paints to live music on weekends and the wife starts each morning with yoga. Every day they spend 12-14 hours out of the house pouring their heart and soul into the art school that they opened, where they do awesome things with kids (like put on native drumming music, cover the furniture in tarps and have the kids climb underneath creating 'cave drawings'). They were some of the happiest people I have ever met. Each day their eyes were filled with excitement to inspire and share their love of movement, music, art, and self expression with a younger generation. On the other end of the spectrum was a work-a-holic so focused on saving up that he put his passion for stand up comedy on hold. The more we got to know him, the easier it was to spot his deep sadness day in and out as he trudged from job to job, doing things he hated, working with people he loathed. But at night as he told us jokes or showed us video of his old stand-up comedy gigs, he lit up. That is when his beautiful soul emerged. So here is whats next for me... things that light me up. Things that fill my heart with happiness. Experiences, jobs, and endeavors that allow my passions to shine. I may not be as well off as I once could have been, but I will be happy, and that is how life should be lived. Happily. Passion filled. So that's my new goal for me. Not to let this passion driven adventure end today. Call me a hippie. Call me a dreamer. I am calling it LIVING. So whether it be telling jokes, doing a martial art, slaying motherhood, performing artist shows, writing plays, traveling the world, reading, gardening,....ensure you are making room for that which you are passionate about. Maybe you can't afford to do this full time- but YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO NOT MAKE TIME FOR BEING TRUE TO YOU. Make sure you are filling your heart with the things that make you shine and make sure you are sharing that love and glow with others. Because if you aren't, then you are missing out on really living. You are missing out on truly connecting with others. You are missing out on whats so magical about us as humans. Our ability to light up. To inspire one another. Our ability to fill our souls with things that ignite greatness in us. I return tomorrow, excited for all the wonderful places that my passions are leading me. I urge you to wake up tomorrow, with the exact same goal. Sharing some of my favorite Jams from overseas.... :) The next time you are in a new city pick one day and set your alarm clock for 6:45 am. Get up, curse me, brush your teeth...then get on a light jacket and get out the door. Some of the best things that I have seen while traveling have been in the quiet of the morning. The city workers driving street sweepers to clean up the sidewalks. The morning light glistening over the quiet buildings. This is the best time to really breathe in the architecture, the adorable little shops, and soul of the city. The bakeries just opening have the freshest bread at this time - so treat yourself to a fresh coffee and a hot baked good as a reward for your early adventure. Sit outside and notice if there are birds and squirrels or cats and dogs wandering the streets. Walk along the river. Smile at the shop keepers unlocking their doors. Marvel at the early morning joggers. Admire the dew on the bright grass and dazzling flowers native to the area. Breathe in the essence of the area. Admire it when its quiet and at peace... Then (if needed) you can take a nap. But I guarantee, one morning of exploring is worth the early alarm. Feel stressed? Overwhelmed? Sad? Heavy? Having quit my job and left my 9-5 behind, here are the biggest lessons that I have found bring lightness, smiles, and happiness to life.
Give them a try and let me know what I am forgetting! In case you haven't seen the Jim Carey classic 'Yes Man', here is the main idea- Carey starts to say YES to every opportunity and offer thrown his way. This is a concept that while traveling the world I am embracing more. Sometimes we are so caught up in what we think is our style or liking that we turn down opportunities that could turn out to be quite enjoyable.
While on this trip my husband really wanted to go see the infamous Barecelona Soccer Stadium. I on the other hand, being an American raised baseball watching lady had zero interest in seeing a stadium, expecially given the 20 minutes total time I have ever put into watching soccer. However being supportive, I said yes and much to my surprise found the day to be one of my favorite sites in Spain. The incredible infrastructure, along with its historical museum, and fancy fixtures not only gave me a 2 hour walking workout but also peaked my interest in going to a live professional soccer match. I got swept up in the excitement and fervor that the tour gave. While finishing up a camp in Germany we had a few free days left on the docket. We had the option to stay in the town that we were in, head to France to train with friends, head to a major city in Germany to train with the national team, or to head to Luxembourg with their National teams coach. We didn't know the coach well but being intrigued by a country we had yet to visit, Luxembourg was the route we picked. Because of this we got to see one of the most beautiful and peaceful countries yet, we got special treatment at the facilities because we were the coaches guest, and we made a new really good friend. Going the route that is least known or least comfortable can stretch you to learn new things, find out new interests, perk up hidden talents, and lead to lots of great stories and relationships. By forcing my husband to say YES he found out that symphonies are really calming to listen to, that yoga may look easy but its a great workout, that art museums can be not only gorgeous but enlightening, that walking cities is a much more enjoyable way to spend time than relaxing in a hotel, and that skateboarding may be a new sport of interest. Next time that an offer is laid in front of you that may not sound like your typical cup of tea, release your inner Jim Carrey. Face the fear of different. Say YES. Give it a try. You may stumble upon an adventure. You may stumble upon a new love. Life is too short to not say YES. As I travel the world one attribute that I continue to see dominate so many peoples lives is a deep sense of loneliness. Its not always obvious. Its often hidden under false smiles and loud personalities, but if you listen attentively, you can see the pain of loneliness in so many peoples lives. The reasons can vary drastically. She lived too far from her family to visit. He travels so often that its hard to make friends in his new city. She works so many hours that she never had time to go out with friends. He is always so busy its impossible to grow a deep connection with others. She is busy with the kids so seeing other adults becomes nearly impossible. He lost his significant other and it haunts his soul in a way that he won't admit, because "too much time has passed for him to still be in pain". The causes and reasons may vary but the feeling of solitude in a world full of people can be so painful to deal with. I can remember a period in my life when I was traveling a lot for judo and because of this missed weekend after weekend of friends gatherings. When the summer came around, and my travel had decreased, I found myself not invited out and feeling too distant from my friends to reach out to see what they were up to. I felt unwelcome and unmissed. Out of the circle. I realized at some level that had I been brave and just reached out more my days would have been filled with more adventure and laughter. But I couldn't overcome the anxiety of reaching out. The sadness of solitude got to me and instead I basked in the darkness. Facebook stalking whatever I was missing out on and furthering my spiral of self pity. It was easier to just think that something was wrong with me than to dig out of the loneliness. As I have met people from multiple continents, staying with strangers all over the world I am learning that nothing was wrong with me. This sense of alone-ness is maybe the most common human sensation of all. I am not the only one that feared reaching out to distant friends. I am not that only one that hated having to awkwardly make new friends when moving to a new city. I am not the only one that felt empty after a painful breakup. I am not the only one that had travel inflict my relationships or that felt that sadness of family living distantly away. Given this new insight as to human nature, I have a brand new appreciation for strangers. So many are hurting, just a layer beneath what you can see...and rarely do people look for it. So here is my challenge for you... Listen more deeply to what people are really saying. Reach out to that friend that you may not have heard from in a while. Share a smile or a small conversation with a stranger who looks like they are in need of one. Compassion and support can go such a long way in making others feel less alone. We've all felt it...so we can all do our part to aid others who are dealing with it. It is beyond difficult to put into words the sadness, gratefulness, love and heart-brokenness that I feel about leaving Japan tomorrow. I can say that this has been time spent that I will always cherish. For me, this time in Japan has been a lifetime coming - and it amazingly lived up to every ounce of anticipation that I had. My parents were judokas who had been trained by Japanese powerhouse Ishakawa, so the country and its culture was something that I was raised to look up to. I can still remember a report that I wrote in sixth grade about the history of judo and its roots in Japan. Even after I quit judo as a pre-teen, the fascination remained and in college I was blessed to room with an exchange student from Japan. When I was reintroduced to judo as an adult, I found a greater attachment & deeper rooted intrigue for the culture that had been ingrained in my life for so long. So why my love for judo??? Whats the big deal? In judo there are some fundamental concepts that I find incredibly ancillary to life: ⦁ The ideal of mutual welfare. Support your partner. Be there for others. Lift them up and they too can lift you. ⦁ Judo means literally the gentle/flexible way. Judo reflects life in that when challenged you often want to fight it, but sometimes being gentle or maintaining a flexible mindset will provide you with the solution. ⦁ Bowing. This signifies respect and thanks to the club, to your partners and sensei's in thanks for them aiding your improvement. ⦁ The idea of Kaizen - or continually improvement, looking for optimization. If taken to heart each of these can carry over into our day to day and can aid immensely in making you a better person. It has been a huge part of my personal ideology and has made me a more supportive, thoughtful, thankful, respectful person who is always trying to improve myself. I love that this sport is able to so beautifully make me a better human being. What I found lovely in Japan was that many of Judo's fundamentals were visible in day to day culture here. People were constantly respectful and thankful to each other. I never left a convenience store without feeling a connection and gratefulness for the workers due to their supportive and genuine nature (something I do not miss about america). The subways, city streets, escalators, construction sites, crosswalks all had a kaizen appeal - being run optimally and efficiently. The culture here was like being in a super friendly, overly productive wonderland. Then there was the fact that Japan, being the birthplace of judo, is still its mecca. To give this some context most dojos that I have been to in the US have 15-40 judo player on the mat on any given night. (Not all clubs...this is an average based on my experiences in various locales....and is not reflective of membership, just normal numbers in attendance.) In japan I never saw less than 70 people at a practice (close to 200 frequently!). This includes at a community center! And keep in mind, there are 100's of clubs here. So the number of judo players is monumental. I was lucky to train at a variety of facilities- as mentioned above community centers, the Kodokan (where judo started, so that had me startstruck), Toei High School, KEIO Univerity, Waseda University, Nittaidai Univesity, and Tsukuba University (Alaa also got to go to the Tokyo Police training when I was broken). What amazed me was the gentleness that the old men used when beating up everyone, the respect held for the seseis and each other, and the speed of everyone's feet. There was welcoming support from every partner at every dojo, making me feel a universal love and connected-ness to the sport and to humanity. The idea that despite not sharing a language we could connect, help one another, and support eachother's goals was truly lovely to me. That being said- judo in japan is insane. I got thrown. Alot. I was out of breathe because the randori never ended. My collarbone injury was excruciating. I struggled. I was pinned and couldn't get out. I got dominated in areas that I had thought were strengths. It was truly challenging. But at the end of the day, I was able to get up after every fall. I found myself succeeding more and more. Despite struggles, the time here really stretched me mentally and physically - causing me to leave Japan feeling more confident, dominant, and inspired to continue to improve than I ever thought possible. So here I am, six weeks in the country that I always dreamed of seeing has somehow flown by. I feel like no amount of time here would be satiating enough. We stayed in the city and countryside and both built big sweetspots in my heart. I think the biggest lesson Japan has taught me, is the importance of breathing in and really FULLY appreciating the NOW. I tried hard to really soak in and appreciate as much as I could while was here. I am not excited for Germany tomorrow, despite the tons of reasons I should be. I am not comparing my lovely experience here with my beautiful time in France. I am just breathing in the fresh air, happy that the typhoon stopped so that I could hear the crickets lull me to sleep.... I am appreciating the moment around me. I tried to do this at each and every practice and it made all of the kindness, connectedness, learnings, and lessons sink in deeply. Thinking ahead and looking back will only deflect from the amazingness that life is offering me in this very moment. And I am so loving it. Two weeks without a computer and limited access to paper. My brain was literally breaking down in terms of needing to write. I didn't realize how inherent writing was to my being, processing, and sense of self until I was fully locked away from it! I can recall being in grade school and even then loving to journal. However I never saw myself as a writer. TJ was the writer in class. He had a journal with him at all times - during down time he would create these fantastical worlds on paper. I remember thinking to myself- THAT IS A REAL WRITER. THAT IS WHAT THEY DO. HE HAS SOMETHING SPECIAL. A REAL WRITER has a magic senses of other worlds and a constant influx of ideas to shape. I wasn't creative like that. I didn't have that gift. Because I couldn't associate myself with the definition that I had correlated with "writer", I wrote myself off! I ignored my love for it & sense of calm from it, because I didn't fit the definition of what I had idealized a writer to be. This is a harsh lesson that I have learned in many capacities of my life. LESSON 1: There is NO pure definition for ANYthing! Do not let your preconception of what something is (or should be) discount yourself from doing it! Do not let your ideas, definition, or projection of what should be, stop you. ⦁ With the Olympics just ending there are tons of "underdog" tales on all of our minds- the boy who beat his idol Phelps, the 42 year old gymnast, Sakshi Malik- the Indian female wrestler who won a medal, the non-placement of unstoppable Jordan Burroughs, Simone Manuel- the first black american women to swim away with a gold, .... All of these underdog stories remind me that someone believed in themselves despite the critics and pre-concieved ideas about who belonged and what an athlete in their sport is. Be Inspired by this! Do not be defined by the cookie cutter molds. REDEFINE THE MOLD. BE YOUR OWN. Be better than the mold. Be special. Stand out. Break the barriers. LESSON 2: Just because you aren't naturally gifted or talented in the craft that you love, does NOT mean that you are not destined to excel in it. Yes, some people are naturally bestowed with talents but the best in the world are the people who contain passion and accept a "growth" mentality. This means acknowledging what you lack in skill but truly believing that with effort, dedication and hard work you will obtain those skills. Do NOT quit on yourself. Put in the work and the talent will come. LESSON 3: Be True To YOU You can try to silence a skill, a love, a passion- but your heart will break and your livelihood will suffer. If your day lights up by filling it with something that sings to your soul- give into it! Allow yourself to be expressed fully and embrace the things in you that light up your heart! So here I am, 20 years out of grade school, finally accepting that I am a writer. It is in my soul. TJ was gifted in so many fantastical was that I wasn't. But I have a voice also! I own that mine may not be a natural talent, as his was. Mine is a truly different voice with an unimaginative, un-enchanted, but full valid, semi-inspiring voice. It has taken me living with hippies for 2 weeks, filled with lots of downtime (and no internet) to contemplate life and realize what sparks my days. It has taken this reprieve for me to embrace how huge writing has been in my entire life. From childhood journaling, to epic note writing in high school, as an outlet for abusive relationships- it has always been an outlet and sanctuary for me. I have lots of growth ahead of me to improve my writing, however I am really happy that my brain is finally listening to my heart about what makes it sing. What activities perk you up? What does your soul crave when it is void from your day-to-day? What is holding you back from believing in your abilities? Who are you at your core? Take a listen....and give into it! |
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